neptunain:

"GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"

"sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"

"oh rad bring it in"

(via pancakestiel)


dancybutt:

lnstagrandma:

how to piss someone off:

leave the door open

image

(via pancakestiel)


deanimation:

gavinotorchwick:

flyntcoal:

flyntcoal:

literally gained a follower and lost one within a minute. 

did they make a mistake

was i not good enough

DID THEY RYAN ME

imageimage

Did everyone get Ryan’d as well

#UpAllNightToGetRyan’d

You know what, from now when that happens, I will refer to it as “getting Ryan’d” and it will make me feel better

(via ahvvu)


naked-yogi:

praxis89:

“They say I have a sweet ass, nice tits, a real pretty dress. They say I’m their future wife, or I’d look good with their dick in my mouth. They try (and probably succeed at times) to take pictures down my shirt. They ask if they can get my number, they ask where I live, why I’m not smiling, why my boyfriend lets me walk around by myself. Then they ask why I’m such a bitch, if my pussy is made of ice. They say that they never do this, as though I’ve somehow driven them to inappropriate behavior and deserve it. They say they’re just having fun, trying to pay me a compliment. Pretty frequently they get mean, slipping into a loud tourettes-like chant of bitch-whore-cunt-slut.
Before you try to tell me that it’s because I take my clothes off for a living, let me tell you that this started way before I was 18. Let me tell you that every single woman I know has at least one truly terrifying story of street harassment and a whole bunch of other stories that are merely insulting or annoying. Let me remind you that in a room of pornography fans, who have actually seen me with a dick in my mouth and who can buy a replica of my vagina in a can or box, I am treated with far more respect than I am walking down the street.”
—Stoya

I have always loved this quote.

naked-yogi:

praxis89:

They say I have a sweet ass, nice tits, a real pretty dress. They say I’m their future wife, or I’d look good with their dick in my mouth. They try (and probably succeed at times) to take pictures down my shirt. They ask if they can get my number, they ask where I live, why I’m not smiling, why my boyfriend lets me walk around by myself. Then they ask why I’m such a bitch, if my pussy is made of ice. They say that they never do this, as though I’ve somehow driven them to inappropriate behavior and deserve it. They say they’re just having fun, trying to pay me a compliment. Pretty frequently they get mean, slipping into a loud tourettes-like chant of bitch-whore-cunt-slut.

Before you try to tell me that it’s because I take my clothes off for a living, let me tell you that this started way before I was 18. Let me tell you that every single woman I know has at least one truly terrifying story of street harassment and a whole bunch of other stories that are merely insulting or annoying. Let me remind you that in a room of pornography fans, who have actually seen me with a dick in my mouth and who can buy a replica of my vagina in a can or box, I am treated with far more respect than I am walking down the street.

—Stoya

I have always loved this quote.

(via boologger)


dustinmathisen:

ptgreat:

nickcarragay:

petition to make young adult authors stop writing about girls whose lives change when they meet a boy

When she saw him time slowed to a stop.  He was so perfect and she knew her life would never be the same because she had finally found him.  The one.  The first boy she would ever kill.

image

(via blowjcb)


hiddenblade-hiddennomore:

captainangelofthelord:

crestlessly:

vitaisfrozen:

YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK THIS
I TOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE CUTE AND CHEEKY BUT GUESS WHAT

IT ISN’T

AND NOW I’M SAD

This is not okay

NO THIS WAS CUTE WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME

I knew what this was going to be…

(Source: aiklahori, via butter-my-dick)


ariaste:

unamusedsloth:

Exercise caution, especially with things labeled “fresh” pizza

I dunno, I’m most worried about “stairs”

(Source: unamusedsloth, via pancakestiel)


toiletseatpube:

earthdad:

the rise and fall

Tale as old as time

(via smallavery)


mymomcantfindthisblog:

caseyanthonyofficial:

caseyanthonyofficial:

I just got a package from my sister and its a crossbow that shoots bolts which is cool but I put it together anD IT FIRES THEM AT ABOUT 800 FPS I COULD HAVE KILLED MY ROOMMATE I ALMOST SHOT IT AT HIM BUT I HIT A METAL CHAIR THAT THE BOLT WENT THROUGH

I took the metal tip off so its just a plastic bolt 

image

aND ITS STILL PRETTY DEADLY

image

Where did your sister acquire this.

(via svviggle)


dogthing2:

HAPPY MOMMY HAPPY BABIES

dogthing2:

HAPPY MOMMY HAPPY BABIES

(Source: lavagoth, via smallavery)


lotrlockedwhovian:

dreamingofcossackia:

live to ride

how did bikers ever get the reputation of being fearsome. Everything I’ve ever heard about them is always rides for charity, helping stray animals, telling kids to stay in school and doing cute shit like this and generally being nicer than 90% of the population. 

lotrlockedwhovian:

dreamingofcossackia:

live to ride

how did bikers ever get the reputation of being fearsome. Everything I’ve ever heard about them is always rides for charity, helping stray animals, telling kids to stay in school and doing cute shit like this and generally being nicer than 90% of the population. 

(Source: hal1oween, via svviggle)


Kidnapper: Get in the fukin van
Me: Oh ok cool
Kidnapper: Wut
Me: This is a febreze commercial right
Kidnapper: Wut
Me: Smells pretty shitty in here to me tbh

wrrench:

YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN
YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY SEVENTEEN

image

OH YEAH

(via svviggle)


me yesterday night : lol who needs sleep
me today: i do. i need sleep.
me tonight: lol who needs sleep

nonymoose:

thegestianpoet:

how do i tell my mom that this “minimalist wooden nativity set” she put up just looks like a forest of dildos

you should start slowly adding actual dildos to the set and see if she notices

nonymoose:

thegestianpoet:

how do i tell my mom that this “minimalist wooden nativity set” she put up just looks like a forest of dildos

you should start slowly adding actual dildos to the set and see if she notices

(via svviggle)